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When our time is up,
When our lives are done,
Will we say we've had our fun?
Will we make a mark,
This time.
Will we always say we tried.
Standing on the rooftops,
Everybody scream your heart out.
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Thursday, March 15, 2007, 9:13 PM
this is bad, REALLY BAD. it is the first time in 10 years, mind you, that i have slept for 11 hours straight. surely this must mean something. no, i wasnt having this super exciting dream, in fact, i dont even remember what i dreamt about. all i remember was thinking about him before going to sleep. from the first time we met all the way to our latest meeting. who is this guy? haha well it aint speedo. THIS IS WHY I AM CONFUSED AS HELL. it's like it just hit me this morning that all along, i sort of had feelings for him. this guy is actually my friend, well quite a good friend, and that is why i feel so sinful! but some may say, isnt this better? if he is your friend, things would be so much easier. BUT get this, i am damn scared that because of my feelings, our friendship would be affected. this situation is sort of like the guy-girl best friend thing, and suddenly one day, the girl falls for the guy. i actually thought speedo was my crush but after talking to fel online last night, she made me see the light. she said that since i didnt even know speedo, so he is just an eye candy, as for my friend, it's more real since i know him and my feelings just grew on him. but this is still so wrong! nothing is going to happen cause i'm definitely not going to tell him about it. plus, we even sort of promised each other that we would both remain single during jc. OMG. i'm seriously wondering, am i being very fickle? you know one minute it's speedo, then i decide to give him up, then i like speedo again and now this. what the hell is wrong with me?? you know i think my brain is screwed up. oh wait, not my brain, cause the brain doesnt control your feelings. it's my damn heart. urghhhh. what am i going to do with you now??? i seriously hope that i am able to hide my feelings from you cause i seriously dont want to ruin our friendship. actually, i think it's possible to hide them from you, cause YOU'RE SO BLUR. HAHAHAHAHA. i seriously curse that bloody picture, why did you have to look so hot in there?! oh great, now i'm thinking about the times when you were acting lame and stupid. GOD. i hope that the class bbq later would help take my mind off you, as for now, i am counting on my beloved wentworth miller to do that job.
